Mama Taylor
I just adore her. I am so happy for you. I don't know how to send pick, but I have one of Helena
IS SHE THERE RIGHT NOW?
Yes. She arrived Tuesday. I told her she just missed you. I wish you two were close.
You know exactly why I can't be close to my mother, ever.
Someday you will change your mind, trust me I am old and wise.
You are wise, but I hope for both our sakes that day never comes. I'm happy with what we have now. hello, how are you, and GOODBYE. Toxic people are toxic even when they're your parents. No, fuck that she's not my parent, YOU are my parent.
I blame myself for my daughter. Maybe I could have done something different. I want to hug you, but also smack you for cursing about her like that.
Did you know people who curse are proven to be very honest people?
You would never lie to me.
Nope. Never.
But please don't be mad if I try.
We'll never see eye to eye on this gramma!!
Jamie please do not be mad. Family is family.
I fucking HATE HER
Language. Stop right now.
I'll be fine, gramma. I promise. I'm stopping. Counting.
I love you. Heart heart heart!
Lmao. I think you tried to send an emoji? You have to type that, you can't use your voice. Love you. ❤
Greeting
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Voicemail
Helena Rosado

mobile
October 3 at 4:16 PM

Hello Jamie. This is your mother, Helena. Out of respect for you and your siblings, I came to visit my mother after I knew you were already gone. I'm still not ready to see you. You...you know, you really scare me so much. I listened to your music today and I had to turn it off and I forbade my mother from playing it while I am in the house! I know she is my mother and I should obey her, but not for blasphemy and sin! There is a demonic prescence in your life. I know it. And I cannot be around that, because I don't want you to bring me or Lydia or Paul into this. I still have two children I need to protect from evil, and I will always do that. I can't protect you anymore and that's my biggest regret, my biggest sin. I will always try to bring you to the light, but you already corrupted and turned my Simon and Diana. You've let evil into your heart, your lifestyle is absolutely disgusting, and I don't think there's much for us to talk about, but if you want to call and repent and pray with me, I can lead you. Please find salvation, son. My heart is heavy thinking about your future. Lord God, please bring him back into the light. In Jesus's name I pray, amen.
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Helena Rosado
Fuck you, fuck off forever. FUCK. YOU. You spent my whole life telling me I was consumed by demons, but you know what? You're the fucking devil.
Stop! Don't you say things like that.
Don't ever talk to me again, and I'll stop.
I pray everyday that the truth comes to you, that the Lord touches you, and that you are able to repent and see a better life. But as long as you shut out God, your life will be like this. You need to follow the Lord to see the light.
Are you fucking joking right now???
I hope you know how much I hate you. And your daughter? Diana fucking hates you too. Simon parties, drinks, and fucks whenever he wants. Paul and Lydia are BRAINWASHED. They don't love you, they fear you. And none of us are evil, or destined for hell. None of us deserved to be shamed and ridiculed and treated like shit everytime we didn't agree with your every single word or belief. I didn't deserve to be locked up and ignored! We're our own people and you just can't fucking STAND that you lost your intimidation over us. You made me feel like I was nothing and now that I am something, you want to try and bring me down again?
I'm blocking your number.
Simon
DUDE. WTF! Did you tell mom I had sex??
I told her to leave us alone!
That's waaaaaay different than what she just told me. How the f did my sex life even come up?!
I was mad so I told her that we didn't need her and I knew she would get fucking pissed about that.
Don't bring me into this! I got a shit storm over here rn. She's literally leaving prayers on my voicemail! She thought I was a virgin! I don't know why she believed her 32 year old was a virgin but whatever.
IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY. Why do you still talk to her? Go back to the commune if you miss that life so much.
Bro relaaax, your mad at her, not me!
Yeah.
Scott Adler
Jamie, did you just walk out of rehearsal?
Is everything alright?
Can you at least answer your phone? Or a text??
The band told me you were yelling. Get on the phone with your therapist!
Dude, don't make me threaten to cancel your tour dates.
You fucking wouldn't.
OH GOOD, YOUR PHONE IS WORKING. Therapist. Now!!!!
You're literally the worst manager ever, I'm done.
Right right, I'll add that to the tally of the many times you've "fired" me. Talk to your therapist and then see if you still want to do that.
Dr. Gary Colmbs
I can't fucking see, I'm so angry.
Hi Jamie. Have you tried any of the anger excersies we worked on?
No. Trying that now. But it just hurts so much.
Can you talk me through what happened?
My mother. I'm so angry at her for everything and I still don't want her to be a part of my life. Things have been fine lately, we haven't spoken in almost six months until today. Not even after Pray for the Wicked, which I thought you would FREAK OUT over and call and text me incessantly about. But she avoided me, and then decided to call today to pray for my soul or whatever. So I'll admit, I texted her and said some mean things. But she fucking deserved every single word!!
*she would freak out, not you
You mention your mother not reaching out to you after your album release. Would you have wanted her to reach out?
NO. I don't want to talk to her.
Then I think you should ask yourself why you care that she called, if you don't want to speak to her?
I just want her to be normal, and to be proud of me and not make me feel like shit but that's never going to happen!!
As children, we all look to our parents for acceptance, guidance, and love. These are three things you did not get from your mother that you are still yearning for today. Your anger is justified, but it's also blindingly powerful in your situation. If you look to removing the weight of importance on her acceptance, you will be able to begin moving past that anger and healing. And despite what she did to you, you need to take care of yourself, which means being structured when responding to messages out of anger.
I'm fucking crying, I can't deal with any of this right now.
Are you counting? Breathing? I would recommend a meditative reflection. Ask yourself why you STILL need her acceptance? Do you really?
No, I don't need it, I just really fucking want it. She's my mother.
You've told me before that you count your Grandmother as your true mother. Do you still feel this way?
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I don't consider Helena my mother. My mother is gramma. She made me a better person.
And now you are working at it yourself. Jamie, the trauma you endured from your mother is not going to be an easy road to navigate, but you're getting closer to your destination each day.
I hope so.
I'd like to get on a call with you, to hear your voice and help calm you more if needed. Is that okay?
Yeah, sure.